I’ve written previously about my quest for equanimity through meditation practice (see posting here). I thought I was making great progress until I stepped into a taxi cab in India. Traffic in Indian cities, and even some rural roads, makes Los Angeles traffic at rush hour look like a picnic. With slow-moving rickshaws, bicycles, and trucks sprawled across the road, along with the occasional cow, goat, or dog, Indian driving involves a stream of vehicles ducking and cutting in and out of any available lane (and some that are not available or not even lanes), narrowly averting collisions at every turn.

Watching all this without even the benefit of a seat belt to provide some security, I found myself immersed in old fears that we’d die any moment. This was only made worse because we lost an old friend a few years ago to a traffic accident, most likely because she wasn’t wearing a seat belt, although we’ll never know for sure. Rationally I knew our drivers were experts at navigating these conditions and odds were high that we’d be fine, but part of my mind was off telling stories about the terrible things that would happen any moment.

Fortunately my meditation teacher, Sandra Hammond, and Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche’s book (Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom, which I am currently reading) offered plenty of wisdom for handling this type of situation. Through constant practice over the 9 days of spending many hours in taxi cabs, I was able to find equanimity fairly often and, on the last day, stay at peace most of the day. The strategy is not to try to stop the fear, or any other strong emotion, but rather to watch it with open awareness as it comes and goes. There is always a part of our minds that is in peace (see previous post on mindfulness) and, with practice, we can watch the wacky things our minds come up with a bit of amused detachment, or at least acceptance.

If you want to learn more about this, I highly recommend Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche’s books, which are quite easy to follow. More importantly, though, find a good teacher who can guide you through the inevitable pitfalls that will come in learning meditation. I will be forever grateful to have Sandra as a patient and wise guide, particularly in helping me to see that whatever situation comes up is always good practice, even Indian taxi cabs! I’m on my way home to more sane traffic conditions now, and I guess I’ll have to find something else to practice with – I’m sure life will provide soon enough…

Barbara Minsker

January 12, 2012

p.s. This post was written, appropriately, in an Indian taxi cab. Since returning from India, I’m pleased to report that all that practice with fear in taxi cabs has made it so much easier to stay in equanimity through anything that comes up at home, even the case of Delhi Belly that I brought home and limped through the first week of classes with. Guess the taxi cab time was just what I needed!

“Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile.”  — Sir Wilfred Grenfell

The truth of this quote, which has been in my Joyful Professor e-mail signature for some time, has struck me anew in visiting Chennai, India this week. My student Maria and I have been visiting self-help groups associated with the Subsistence Marketplaces Initiative, which are groups of women that support each other in starting small businesses through micro-scale loans. We’ve been conducting interviews with these women as well as some local farmers to see what environmental issues are affecting their lives.

We met people who were absolutely glowing with vitality and health and yet were living on just a few dollars a day.  We also met others who seemed just as healthy but were not as joyful. It seemed that the joyful people were engaged in work that they found worthwhile and had healthy social networks, particularly among those in the self-help groups. While the groups were set up to function as an economic engine, their impact seemed to be much greater in empowering the women to work together in addressing whatever issues came up in their lives.

Once those basic social needs are taken care of, along with adequate food, water, and a healthy enough environment to avoid illness, the rest can just be a distraction. Buying the next gadget or outfit won’t do much for real joy, and can often lead us to spend our time in a fruitless quest for fulfillment in the wrong places. Next time you’re feeling restless, try looking at which of your top soulful values aren’t being met and focus on bringing them into your life more. (If you’re not familiar with soulful values, there is an introduction to soulful values in my essay here and the Joyful Professor book has more details on them.) One of the reasons I’ve chosen to pursue this international work is to address my need for learning and adventure. There’s nothing like a new venture in another culture to feed that soulful value!

Of course, not all is completely rosy here, especially from an environmental perspective. We’ve spent hours stuck in traffic throughout the city at all times of day as the growing and mobile population presses the limits of the infrastructure. There is a new metro under construction that is currently adding to the traffic problems and hopefully will provide some relief, although it seems unlikely that it will completely alleviate the problems.

One of the most obvious environmental problems is the massive amounts of trash and waste in the streets, which eventually make their way into the water bodies and lead to highly polluted conditions. The pollution in turn makes the drinking water unsafe to drink, which leads to lots of water bottles being consumed and adding to the problem. Cows, goats, and dogs wander the streets eating the trash, causing problems for their health and of course additional waste to add to the pile. It is interesting that in all of the homes we visited, people were fastidious about keeping their homes clean, yet often swept the garbage right off into the street. Clearly there is a lack of understanding of how the environment is also our home that needs just as much care to keep us healthy in the long run. This is not unique to India, of course.

On our first day in Chennai we visited a non-governmental organization (NGO) called Sipcot Area Community Environmental Monitors. This group has been working with low-income community members in Cuddalore who are being affected by toxic releases from industries there. Initially the industries denied that there were any problems, but the group trained volunteers to use their bodies as sensors to identify and carefully document when a release had occurred. The volunteers work with their social networks who call them when they smell something odd or their skin feels prickly while fishing, and they take an air, water, or soil sample.

Through these means, the group has been able to document illegal releases that are now being considered by the High Court of India. We see similar cases in the U.S. where the most economically disadvantaged communities often bear the brunt of environmental problems because they need the jobs and lack the resources and knowledge to bring clean jobs to their communities. It’s a fascinating case of empowerment through simple means, although it would be great to see it taken a step further to build more clean job opportunities for these communities. The self-help groups we’ve visited seem to be a great mechanism that fosters jobs with quite low environmental footprints.

Barbara Minsker

January 7, 2012

“Time is the most valuable coin in your life. You and you alone will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you don’t let other people spend it for you.”   ~ John Dryden

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How many times do I hear faculty say wistfully that they couldn’t possibly find time for that? Usually that involves something that they love to do, whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or going completely offline for a true vacation. Sometimes that involves the backlog of publications that they haven’t been able to find time to finish and publish, an even more perilous situation for career success.

Last week I had debriefing sessions with the first and second online Joyful Professor workshop participants and I was pleasantly reminded that you can make time and, in the end, you’ll be more productive and joyful if you do. It may sound simplistic, but it’s really about figuring out what’s most important to you, both personally and professionally, and then finding the persistence to stave off the distractions that are constantly pulling you away from them.

One of the workshop participants had recently read How to Write a Lot: A Practical Guide to Productive Academic Writing by Paul Silvia. She was having great success on her paper backlog by following Professor Silvia’s recommendation to schedule writing time as a class on your calendar at whatever duration and frequency you need. You wouldn’t miss teaching your class because of an e-mail backlog, would you? So don’t miss your writing class either. And “I’m sorry, I can’t meet then, I have a class” is a perfect way to keep meetings out of your writing time. Just be sure to find a quiet place to hide and keep the e-mail closed and cell phone turned off during your writing class.

As for personal time, we start our workshops with a simple and fun exercise to have participants think of one activity that they love to do, even when no one is watching or paying you (thanks to Jan Smith at the Center for Authentic Leadership for this exercise). Then we ask each other open-ended questions to try to figure out what aspects of that activity that we truly love. For example, I love to downhill ski and after much reflection and questions I figured out that I love the rhythmic movement and the thrill of being on the edge of what I can handle (not too steep of a slope, nor too gentle). We don’t have many mountains in Central Illinois, but with those insights I could find other activities like rollerblading and rock climbing that I could do more frequently.

When time is tight, though, even watching the grasses sway outside my window can be enough of a refreshing break for me. One of the workshop participants came up with the term “joy breaks” to describe these smaller 5 to 15-minute breaks that might seem insufficient but can truly make a difference in keeping your productivity high and avoiding burnout.

Can’t seem to find time even for short joy breaks? It’s probably time to write down your major goals for the next 3-4 months and then start weeding out less important things and saying no to other requests. Even things that seem small can add up to a major bite out of your day and prevent those needed joy breaks. The Joyful Professor book can guide you through the process, or sign up for a workshop (Joyful Path to Tenure starts September 30^th, and the regular Joyful Professor workshop is coming again in January).

Skeptical that it can be this simple? Check out some of the workshop participants’ testimonials. One of our participants went completely offline for a vacation this summer for the first time in her career. She came back refreshed and ready to work again, and nothing bad happened while she was gone. So try getting radical and making time for yourself for a few months. Let me know how it works.

Barbara Minsker

September 18, 2011

“It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” — Wayne Dyer

With Hurricane Irene bulldozing up the East Coast this weekend and disrupting lives, we are reminded of how little we are truly in control of our lives. Yes, we often try desperately to maintain control and enjoy living in the illusion that we do, but the truth is that we are interconnected with other beings and the environment in a way that will always bring a measure of unpredictability into our lives. In fact, our lives depend on those interconnections to provide food, water, air, shelter, companionship, and that ever elusive life purpose.

I am teaching a new graduate course this semester on Sustainable Urban Systems where I am treading into the new (for me) space of social justice. A local attorney and activist on social justice issues, Valerie McWilliams, lent me a video called Unnatural Causes that explores the health implications of socio-economic inequities. The video describes studies that have shown significantly shorter lifespans and more disease among people who are lower on the socio-economic “ladder” in the U.S. While this is not overly surprising in and of itself, the reason cited for the health differences was a surprise to me: lack of control. After adjusting for different diets, exercise, environments, and other factors, researchers concluded that people in worse socio-economic circumstances have less control in their jobs and personal lives. This leads to greater stress, which causes measurably higher chronic levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their blood stream, which in turn causes more health problems. These effects were shown to be true at all levels from extreme poverty to extreme wealth, with even middle-class people having higher stress-related health problems than those who are wealthier.

I find this fascinating because, as I mentioned, we really never have true control over our lives, no matter how wealthy or educated we might become. Life or death circumstances can arise in a moment for anyone, although certainly those circumstances can arise more frequently for those with insufficient resources to meet basic needs. In fact, in times like today, where the uncertainty of our future circumstances can be so great for anyone, stress levels are high for many people across the socio-economic spectrum. Uncertainty is so challenging that there is often great relief when a situation comes to resolution, even if it is not resolved in the way we had hoped.

Recently I was talking with my meditation teacher, Sandra Hammond, about the many uncertainties in my life, both personally (with my father’s ongoing cancer) and professionally (with my current position as Associate Provost Fellow ending last week and my ongoing quest for new leadership opportunities). She pointed out that the term “uncertainty” is problematic because it implies that the circumstances will be resolved at some point in the future and become certain, thereby relieving the stress. However, we often don’t realize whether particular outcomes are “good” or “bad” until long after they occur, if at all. Cases abound of people who have lost jobs and thought their world was ending, only to eventually find a new opportunity that is significantly better than what they had before. There is a Chinese story about a white horse that beautifully conveys this message of the potential for blessings in disguise. Sandra suggested that the word “ambiguous” would be a better choice than “uncertain,” as we live in often ambiguous circumstances that will never have true clarity.

Rather than seeking to have more control in our lives, perhaps it would be better to strive for more resilience. Merriam-Webster defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” As I mentioned in a previous post, The Times Are Always Changing and we make ourselves miserable by trying to cling to the past or reject our current circumstances. Far better to assess all of the information at hand and make the decision about what to do now that will have the best likelihood of a desired outcome in the future. Once the decision is made, we can then use the feedback we receive to adjust and adapt as circumstances warrant. As to what we might do in the future or unpleasant outcomes that could happen, those are only relevant to the extent that it influences what we need to do now. If there is nothing we can do now to change potential future outcomes, then there is no point in thinking about them.

Of course, this all sounds very simple and I realize that it is far from it. As I started writing this post, I was waiting to hear from my parents in New Jersey, as the eye of Hurricane Irene passed right over their home this morning. I talked with them last night and they promised to call as soon as the worst had passed, but no word had come as of 1 PM EDT. FEMA is saying not to tie up the phone lines with non-emergency calls, so I didn’t want to make a call myself. I sent a text message and an e-mail and then I could only wait to hear from them. Meanwhile, my mind was spinning out all sorts of stories, despite the fact that their home is on top of a hill and flooding is not even an issue, although power outages or downed trees are certainly a possibility. The key point in dealing with these stories is to step back from them and realize that they are just that: stories. Having mental resilience means being able to let the stories play without paying much attention to them. One helpful technique is to focus not on the story itself, but on my reaction to the story. If I try to focus on that reaction (usually annoyance), I find that it often drifts away, sometimes along with the story, and equanimity returns. Because everything always passes sooner or later.

And in case you were wondering, my mother just sent a message back saying they are fine and busy cleaning up branches and water in the basement, but still have power. I know there are others who were far less fortunate during this storm and my heart goes out to them. Because not everyone has the resources or capacity for resilience, and the suffering can be immense. All we can do is try to help where we can.

Barbara Minsker

August 28, 2011

“Happy the (wo)man who can endure the highest and the lowest fortune. S/He, who has endured such vicissitudes with equanimity, has deprived misfortune of its power.” – Seneca, 1^st century AD

“If there is love, there is hope to have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, real peace. If the love within your mind is lost, if you continue to see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education you have, no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue.” – Dalai Lama

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines equanimity as “evenness of mind especially under stress.” Equanimity has been my aspiration in learning meditation over the past (almost) 2 years. Life is constantly changing, as noted in my last posting, and the academic life certainly is no exception. To be able to ride through all of those changes with equanimity, whether “good” or “bad” changes, is a lofty aspiration indeed.

I recently realized that the extensive work I’ve put into learning meditation is starting to pay off with significantly increased equanimity, despite the significant upheaval and uncertainly that life has handed me lately (see my last 2 postings). Occasionally I’ll think “wow, that would have really pissed me off at one time – how interesting that this is not upsetting any more.” The surprise has been that the increased equanimity has reduced both the extreme highs (which were mostly excitement about what might happen) and the extreme lows.

How did I do it? Two factors: an hour of formal meditation practice a day, along with practicing mindfulness whenever I think of it during the rest of the day (see my previous post on mindfulness), and having a great teacher (Sandra Hammond of the Prairie Sangha) who provides patient wisdom to correct and guide my practice. People often ask how I manage an hour a day on top of everything else, but I find that it makes my mind so much more focused, productive, and joyful for the rest of the day that the time investment pays off and then some.

Of course, finding equanimity is a lifelong quest and I’m certainly not yet immune from the occasional strong emotion. Last week, after a challenging week of travel and working through cancer treatment options with my dad, my mom and I decided that it was high time that we tried parasailing after years of talking about it. We made our reservation and arrived on the boat to a few surprises. First, it was a very fast speedboat that flew through the air after zipping over  waves, and no one was wearing life jackets. Then the parasail went up with the first passenger and we realized exactly how high up it went on such a flimsy little bar. My mind went off with its old familiar friend fear, telling crazy stories about all the things that could go wrong. As you can see from the first picture below, though, taken seconds after we flew up in the air, our fear rapidly changed to awe and wonder at the experience. Eventually we were clowning around at flying, which you can see in the second picture below, fear long forgotten.

First moments of parasailing, 6-30-2011

Flying while parasailing

The great thing about meditation is that it trains the mind to step back from the crazy stories and emotions and gradually take them with less gravity and more humor. The thoughts, emotions, and perceptions that arise in our minds come and go like the clouds, but behind the clouds the blue sky always prevails.  We can learn how to rest in the blue sky background of the mind, watching the clouds go by with equanimity. I’m currently reading Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche’s The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness, which is one of the clearest and most interesting explanation of the Buddhist meditation teachings that I’ve ever read, particularly explaining how the teachings work through modern science. As he says, “the mind is the source of all experience, and by changing the direction of the mind, we can change the quality of everything we experience….If we continue to simply allow ourselves to be aware of the activity of our minds, we’ll very gradually come to recognize the transparent nature of the thoughts, emotions, sensations, and perceptions we once considered solid and real…As we grow accustomed to looking at the clear surface of our minds, we can see through all the gossip about who and what we think we are, and recognize the shining essence of our true nature.”

So I’ll keep working at this and maybe someday I’ll be able to handle any wild new adventure with complete equanimity – only time will tell!

Barbara Minsker

July 3, 2011